Inside my cat’s head during Divinity School applications/apartment hunting
What does she mean ‘Divinity School’? She needs to learn Divinity? How pathetic!
‘Does the building allow cats’? Seriously?!? Shouldn’t she be asking the more important question: does the building allow bloody HUMANS? I mean, I let her live with me; occasionally the training succeeds and she’s nice enough for a huge, defective,kitten with two legs and a learning problem but COME ON…We can’t count on just any place to allow her in!
Where’s my damned breakfast/lunch/afternoon tea/petit fours/late night refreshment now?
What, WHAT is a ‘minister’?
What does she mean ‘I may not have as many altars (boxes, chairs, cushions, the actual altar) to sit on’ ?!? Has ANOTHER cat chased her out of my territory? AGAIN!?!
Who are Luther, Milton and Erasmus and, more importantly, if we’re getting a new cat am I expected to make Kittens with him? (Shudder) Even if it was possible, she knows what I think of THAT!!
Why is she spending all that time on the nice flat box with the warmth and the massaging platform instead of ceding it to ME?!?
Why have I not been presented with the acceptable volume of Daily Tribute? It’s scandalous that the green leaves for my “nerves” are not replaced sufficiently! Scandalous, I tell you!