Obnoxious Monikers–with Social Commentary
Police and restaurant customers in New York decided that a diplomat’s wife was using the pretense of breastfeeding her child to conduct a plot of terror and violence….
The Horde of Sub-functioning Trolls responsible for ruining a young family’s day out and the reputation of their entire community inspired me to think of the many inanities that men and society–and therefore, dirty little truth, other women occasionally–force upon women. You know. Us? Just us Girls? Women? Humans who make up whatever enormous percentage of the population that we do….
Clearly we are a problem. I mean, first of all there’s all that nonsense and ‘screaming’ I believe Rick Perry calls it about our rights. Then there’s the way we complain endlessly about inequality.
then…well, then, boys and enablers it gets truly intimidating because a woman feeds her baby in public and:
BEHOLD she wields the Boobs of Death
the Gladiatorial Gazungas
the Mammaries of Mordor
the Twin Glands of Terror and Fury
the Bosom of All Things Dark and Powerful…
The horror…the Horror…
she’ll put everybody’s eye out with her Nefarious Nipples
confound them with her Audacious Anatomy
SCAR THEM FOR LIFE at the sight of…
I wanted to end with a shark-like and ferocious comment about this small incident mirroring the demonic ridiculosity of the opposition around the world to women’s freedom–or to common sense. But really, I just wanted a chance to see how sarcastic I could be about an event that, let’s be fair, deserves all the sarcasm it can absorb, only I wanted to not say ‘t–s.’*
*Steve–why didn’t you want to say “t–s”?
Me–because the mockery this called for needed to be better than t–s.
Steve–but those were my favorite. T–s are amazing!
Me–yes, Sweetheart. That’s why. I had to aim for better-than-my-husband’s-favorite if I was gonna try taking this on.
Steve–Well then. Goodnight Honey. Miss you.
Me–Miss you too, Sweetheart. Have fun in Avalon till I get there. **
**Yes I have conversations with my husband, who is dead. They take place silently in my heart. I believe it’s him. And sometimes they end up in my blog. that is all.